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We all adopt unhelpful thought patterns sometimes, mostly when we are under pressure. Do you recognise any of these in yourself?

 

 

Some of these thought patterns may sound similar to one another. They are not meant to be perfectly discreet categories but a foundation to help you to recognise unhelpful patterns in our thinking.

Here are some examples of usual unhelpful thought patterns and some questions to help you understand how they work in your own life:

 

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: MIND READING

This is when we assume that we know what other people are thinking (usually about us) without any real evidence to suggest it’s true. We can also make assumptions about why someone said something or behaved in a certain way and be quick to conclude that it’s to do with us.

For example: ‘My work colleague is ignoring me’. Perhaps the reality is that she just has other things on her mind. 

EXPLORATION: Think about the last time you made an assumption or jumped to a conclusion about what someone else was thinking without any real evidence to suggest it was true. Did it occur to you to check with them first? If it did, but you didn’t check, what got in the way? If you didn’t even think about checking, do you think it is an option worth considering for the future?

 

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: FORTUNE-TELLING

When we feel anxious it is common for us to spend much of our time thinking about the future and predicting what could go wrong as opposed to just letting things be.

For example: You predict the future by assuming that you’ll perform poorly at a job interview, or you assume that someone will reject you before you’ve even asked them out on a date!

EXPLORATION: Think about the last time when you had such a “self-fulfilling prophecy”. What were you believing, assuming, or feeling at the time? Do you think that a different outcome would have been possible if you had remained open to a positive result?

 

OVER GENERALISING

Based on one instance in the past or present, you make the assumption that all others will follow a similar pattern in the future. A sense of helplessness often accompanies such overgeneralisations.

For example: Just because one ex-partner cheated on you, you believe that ‘ALL men (or women) are unfaithful!’

EXPLORATION: How did you feel about yourself (or the world) the last time that you over-generalised a situation or applied the behaviour of a person to a whole group of people?

 

DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE

When we’re anxious, we commonly develop ‘tunnel vision’, in other words, we focus solely on the negative aspects of situations without considering the positive aspects as well. Sometimes the whole picture can be coloured by a single negative detail.

For example: Focusing on the one person who doesn’t like you rather than the other twenty who do.

EXPLORATION: When was the last time you focussed solely on the negatives? What would have changed if you hadn’t?

 

MINIMISATION AND MAGNIFICATION/CATASTROPHISING

People commonly ‘catastrophise’ when they’re anxious.

This is when we blow things completely out of proportion and view the situation as a catastrophe even though the problem is actually quite small.

For example: Assuming someone hates you because they didn’t reply to your text within 10 seconds. Or you may expect to lose your job or the love of a loved one because of a simple mistake that you’ve made.

EXPLORATION: Write down the last time that you blew something completely out of proportion in your mind? How did you feel afterwards?

 

LABELLING

When we ‘label’ ourselves based on our behaviour in specific situations. We define ourselves by a specific behaviour (usually a negative one) and fail to consider other positive characteristics and actions.

For example: ‘I’m always anxious’ even though this is not always the case, or ‘I’m not good enough’ because you failed at something, even though there are many other things that you’re good at.

EXPLORATION: What labels do you currently define yourself by? Are they complimenting your life? If not, which ones do you need to ditch?

 

If any of these patterns sounds familiar to you, you are not alone in any way. The most important thing is to become aware of them and rather than fighting or repressing them, to allow them and to be curious about what gift they may be trying to give you.

Are they pointing to an unmet need perhaps?

Do they represent an old belief you have grown out of and are ready to let go of?

Do they reveal changes you would like to introduce in your life?